How to Nurture Emotional Intelligence in Children?

a photo of a girl smiling at the camera | Image by karlyukav on Freepik

Emotions are an integral aspect of humanity.

These are the foundation that helps people through life, a basis of healthy social connections and smart decisions. However, while they’re a part of everyday life, emotions can still be difficult as much as they’re powerful. Some can be tough to understand, intense to manage, and so much more to navigate around. When some adults still find the concept challenging to uphold, how can they help nurture emotional intelligence in children?

What Is Emotional Intelligence in Children?

This concept is nothing new to adults.

From the name itself, emotional intelligence is basically how smart people are with their emotions. This means how well they recognize, understand, and regulate their own and even other’s emotions. It’s a skill that grows over time; the more people are exposed to their feelings and those of others.

Given how it presumably comes with age, does this mean emotional intelligence in children may be impossible to cultivate?

It may not be a terminology that goes around and is constantly discussed by people, but it’s one that’s naturally upheld. Everyone seeks emotional intelligence, whether for themselves or those they interact with. Hence, this is also crucial to children, the innocent and younger minds.

Emotional intelligence in children may be a concept that’s a little watered down compared to how adults portray it. To this population, it may involve developing the capacity to share toys without feeling bad and better expressing their emotions when they aren’t given what they want.

Regardless of these differences, ultimately, emotional intelligence revolves around being more thoughtful about feelings.

A photo of a girl looking at emotional cards | Image by freepik

But Why Is It Important to Teach Children Emotional Intelligence?

With emotions playing a critical role in life, it’s essential that they should be well-developed and nurtured in children. It can be difficult to summarize what emotional intelligence in children may mean, significantly since this can differ from person to person.

However, there are extreme benefits to doing so.

Emotions will feel massive for children as they’re still figuring things out and wondering what to do with them. Hence, nurturing emotional intelligence in children goes beyond helping them understand and express their emotions. Instead, it helps them develop properly throughout their years through emotional stability, healthy expressions, and coping mechanisms. It’s one of the fundamental life-long skills that will help children thrive throughout their lives.

Emotional intelligence doesn’t happen in a snap, nor does it occur naturally as children grow. Instead, parents must be proactive in reaching out and guiding them.

It can be an extremely challenging teaching moment for parents to cultivate emotional intelligence in children. It will require time and a lot of patience to try to get them to understand what these often overwhelming feelings are. Fortunately, various materials are dedicated to helping ease such a consequential concept.

How to Help Children With Their Emotions?

As a massive family woman having raised three children and is now taking care of her five grandchildren, author Elaine Vanderberg understands the importance of developing emotional intelligence in children. She’s seen how emotions can unfold and influence behavior. Hence, she’s taken it as her responsibility to pass her knowledge and stories to other parents facing similar debacles.

By writing a book series revolving around overcoming the ups and downs of life, she hopes she can encourage children to be brave and embrace challenges. Instead of shying away, her books, like Timmy the Timid Cloud, teach her readers to find the power within themselves to face their problems head-on. By portraying a rather shy and reclusive character, Elaine hopes children learn to stand up for themselves and bloom to be as expressive as they should be.

The goal is to empower and culture emotional intelligence in children. By easing them into how the real world can be, stories like Elaine’s teach them how they should be with others and how they can foster good social relationships with others. Here are a few tips and tricks for parents to guide their children through the complex world of emotions:

A photo of a mother teaching her daughter | Image by freepik

Be Their Model

One of the best, most effective ways to teach children is through modeling. They learn through demonstration by coping with what they see. Hence, if parents wish to nurture emotional intelligence in children, they must first practice it within themselves and each other. Show children different ways to be emotionally intelligent.

How should they express their feelings, predominantly “negative” ones? How should they approach and listen to someone who’s having a hard time?

These and many more instances are perfect examples of what children should be exposed to.

When they see their parents responding to these situations calmly and patiently, they will embody similar behavior when given the chance. By showing children what it means to empathize, they will learn and grasp the concept better.

Avoid Negative Labels

A crucial part of encouraging children to embrace their emotions is instilling a more positive outlook toward them. One way to do so is by avoiding labeling any feelings as negative.

Labels and the reactions they get when expressing certain emotions will make them believe that some are meant to be suppressed to avoid repeated circumstances. This can be counter-productive in developing emotional intelligence in children. Instead of calling emotions bad, parents must redirect these sentiments to the behaviors exhibited.

Could there be a better way for them to express what they’re feeling? In helping children understand what they think and guiding them toward a better channel, they’re taught that they’re in control of their feelings and not the other way around.

Reinforce When Necessary

If parents must reprimand and correct erroneous expressions, they must also praise attempts and progress. Emotional intelligence in children isn’t easy. It can be overwhelming and confusing for their little minds to understand. But if they’re showing signs that they’re trying their best and they’re listening to what’s been told, parents must also appreciate them.

Showing children that their hard work is recognized will only motivate them more to strive for healthy emotional understanding. This can also help them feel confident in their abilities and empower them to continue pushing and learning. Praise shouldn’t only happen during the result. Instead, parents must also learn to focus on the process and progress. This will help them focus throughout.

If you’re interested in reading how Elaine Vanderberg incorporated emotional intelligence in her book, grab a copy of Timmy the Timid Cloud now!

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