Dismantling the Norms of Relationships: How Should We Love?

The shared love between two people is not merely limited and enclosed within the norms of relationships. It is more than that.

Growing curious about the world and people around me, I realized that everything we hold now is a human construct. Love is involved in this case as it is the prime concern of the majority. Particularly, we place certain labels on relationships, such as dividing romantic relationships from platonic relationships.

Nevertheless, I also realized the rules being put upon romantic relationships as though they should function like everyone else’s relationships. 

I was fine with that. It grew into me that romantic relationships should be like this and that because of the norms. Then it hit me: The norms of relationships are pretty much also just a human construct. That human construct is something that can be altered as time goes by. So why should we love how other people want us to love when we can choose to love freely and our way?

“True love has no boundaries. It is vast as the ocean and limitless as the sky!”

— Avijeet Das

Love Goes Beyond the Norms

I believe love secured within the norms of relationships is a restricted bond fabricated by humans themselves.

Love is the most powerful force in the world. It is limitless and knows no bounds. The norms others are heavily inflicting on other people’s relationships are unnecessary. Why would we tell couples to act this way and should be like this perfect idea of a romantic couple with their own constructed ideal romantic relationship? Well, in fact, it can be more—love can be more than we thought. 

These norms simply restrict people who are in love from exploring their connection and bond in their own way. The thing is, love is more than these norms or rules of what romantic relationships should be. The feeling of love is not merely explained by these words formed from the norms.

Every Romantic Relationship Is Different

Because of the numerous expectations people have placed upon their own concept of an ideal and perfect relationship, couples are also influenced and pressured to act a certain way.

Just because we set a label “romantic relationship” in the nonexistent book of love doesn’t mean we can latch on to other people’s relationships and judge how they love. In the end, every romantic relationship varies from one another. Human beings are unique, and every individual possesses their own inherent qualities that make them their own person. In that case, how a person loves also varies from how the other person loves. 

Love is different for everyone, and everyone experiences love differently. What matters is that we focus and thrive on positive relationships.

My Take on Love: We Love However We Want

In this article, I was able to muster my thoughts and write them down because I was basing them on experience. By experience, I mean how I experienced love and how I was able to observe from other people’s perspectives and experiences.

Let’s just say there is a special someone in my life who has shown me that love can transcend all boundaries and expectations set by society. This experience has opened my eyes to the fact that love cannot be confined within predefined norms and rules. It has taught me that when we embrace the true essence of love, we can experience a level of connection and fulfillment that goes beyond anything we have ever known.

Setting my experience aside, the way we choose to love is a deeply personal and unique expression of our individuality. Our love is not defined by external factors but rather by our own desires, emotions, and beliefs.

We love that way because that’s how we love, and we can love however we want. 

The Question Now Is, “How Should We Love?”

By this point, you should have the gist. How you should love depends on how much you love that person and how you naturally show love to your loved one. If the other person loves your way of showing love and it makes them happy, that’s how you should love.

You love your person because you just do. Honestly, it’s an infinite and indescribable feeling, so love your way and not by other people’s way.