Outside the Box: Break Free From Societal Expectations

Girls wear pink. Boys wear blue.

Barbies are for girls. Robots are for boys.

These statements are some of the most common societal expectations that have long proliferated and have, let’s face it, influenced us in some ways. How many of us still look at a profession, think, “I’m not suited for that,” and subconsciously consider that the primary reason is due to gender?

We can deny it all we want. Most of us do our best to avoid conforming to these expectations. But if we’re being honest, societal norms and expectations have massively molded how we think of and perceive the world. These deeply engrained biases subconsciously affect how we interact with the world and others.

How Harmful Are Societal Expectations?

In his book Stories of Stigma, a self-help book about societal chains, author Greg Hitchcock defines societal expectations as a chain that binds people down. These limitations society has imposed on us hold us back from unraveling our potential and living the best of our lives. The book captures the reality that life is filled with paradoxes; while people roam freely, they’re also constricted by society. It details how these expectations may not be constantly reminded or enacted, but they have already limited people’s beliefs not only of the world but of themselves.

Imagine being told you can’t do this or that because of your gender, a factor you can’t control.

These norms have pressured us to conform all our lives. Even without evidence of their validity and authenticity, the effects of social expectations have constantly influenced how we form our identities.

Deeply woven into society, there may even be systems and rules that favor and support them, leaving us unable to easily avoid being victims. Hence, instead of venturing out to experience the world and experiment with what we desire, we’re led to conform. We forego understanding what we truly want and blindly obey these unconscious rules.

Fortunately, as society develops and progresses, most of us have also gradually gravitated more towards fulfilling our desires than these expectations.

Breaking Free From These Chains

The constant exposure to social expectations leads to various adverse effects. Hence, instead of holding on and following these restrictions, we must run free and decide for ourselves. Gone should the days be when we let society rule over our lives. Instead, we must take ownership and live how we ought to be.

Our lives may be different than what society expects. We may not be following the presupposed process it wants us to do. But, at least, we can proudly say it’s ours to live. Breaking free from the societal expectations that have long bound us can be an enduring process. It involves rediscovering the self, a courageous step outside what has become comfortable.

The whole process might sound intimidating. But it can be reduced into three valuable affairs:

Increase Self-Awareness

Why is it easy to conform to society’s often unreasonable expectations?

Is it because these have been profoundly increased that we have no choice but to live according to them, or is it the easier route? When we haven’t gotten to know ourselves clearly, it becomes unnoticeable that we’re obeying what others want. Hence, an effective way to break free from stereotypes and norms is to uncover what life truly means for us.

What matters to you? What are your passions?

By answering these simple questions, you unlock your deepest, most honest desires, things that genuinely fulfill you. Recognizing these helps you find a goal, something you must firmly follow. These also help define what you must challenge about society’s expectations. When we truly see ourselves, we recognize our identities beyond what society sees.

Embrace Individuality

Once we’ve gotten to know ourselves better, we must choose to live loudly. If we have unique desires, we must satisfy them and not conform to what others want. We have lives of our own. We shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others. To break free from societal expectations, we must first break free from comparisons. Focus on your journey and find ways to live your own life.

What use is self-awareness if we would still compare and follow what others are doing? Celebrate your individuality by fulfilling what YOU want without the care of others.

Take Action

These are mental concepts to take note of. Without action, setting these ideas and standards is futile.

Learn to say no to matters that don’t align with these goals. This can be challenging to adhere to, especially when people and lifestyles are involved. But if we want to live how we should, away from these societal chains, then sacrifices must be made. Don’t be afraid to explore and commit to new endeavors, for this is what ignites the spirit that feeds into your authentic identity.

However, the process can be bumpy. In fact, there will be massive obstacles obstructing your success. Hence, above all, you must keep a solid will and mentality and learn to be compassionate to yourself. You will experience mistakes, pauses, and regressions. Throughout all of these, you must remember there is no other way but forward.

If you’re interested in reading stories that will ignite your will to question your identity and break free from harmful norms, Greg Hitchcock’s books are some you can rely on.